Daily Prompt: Embrace the Ick (‘Left-overs’)

From Daily Post:

Think of something that truly repulses you. Hold that thought until your skin squirms. Now, write a glowing puff piece about its amazing merits.

WARNING: Do not read before or right after meals or if you are extremely squirmish.

I have to admit that this is a hard one. I had to Google search what a ‘puff piece’ is.

There are a lot that repulses me. Show-offs, a variety of bugs and insects, different human and animal odors, unnaturally large and enhanced body proportions, to name a few. But they didn’t make my skin squirm. So, I gave myself time to think about it. It didn’t come to me until I finished dinner. It was the unsightly concoction of bones, wobbly pork fats, spilled sauces, rice grains and other food bits that reminded me of what truly repulses me while I cleared my dinner table. Nope, it wasn’t ‘food’. Oh heck no! Everyone adores food! It wasn’t even ‘left-overs’. At least not in that context, per se. My dinner left-overs reminded me of a different kind of ‘left-overs’… the kind you most likely find in a college or university toilet.

It usually (always?) come in two different states. It can come in liquid form, fresh and watery or slightly stale and gloppy. You will always see this near, not in, the urinals. Or in solid form, taking a variety of forms and colors. It sits in the bottom, taking you by surprise when you get closer, floats leisurely on the water like it’s on holiday, sticks to the sides for its dear life and on some very rare occasions manages to find its way onto the floor or wall. Not only does it smell and look nasty, if you’re unfortunate enough, it feels absolutely nasty under your shoes. Its smell knocks you out and brings you straight to the bowels (pun intended) of the sewer.

But hey! That’s not what today’s Daily Prompt is about! I am meant to put it in a positive light, hence the “this is a hard one”. So here goes my attempt to excrete out (pun intended) a puffery about human urine and feces.

Are you tired of seeing empty cubicles, urinals and toilets? Is there nothing for you to clean up? Is your janitorial job unfulfilling?

Well fret no more! Introducing ‘Yellow and Brown’, the new toys in the block! They are absolute joy to work with! They come wet or dry and in different colours and shapes such as the ‘yellow banana’, ‘chocolate porridge’ or the rarer ”green delight’! They drip, droop, stick, slip and slide… and when you leave them out in the open long enough, they harden and become a challenging puzzle for you to work on! You will finally get to use the diverse tools you already have and it will keep you busy throughout the night!

And that’s not all! It comes delivered to your the toilet door, absolutely free! Pick one of these college kids, your host, and they will deliver your ‘Yellow and Brown’ in no time! All you have to do is … well… nothing! Be surprised and excited when you find one in one of your cubicles or next to a urinal! You’ll never know what you’ll get!

So call us now and don’t hesitate! You can be the best janitor you wanted to be! The college or university will appreciate and adore you for it!

PS: There was once when it and a ridiculous amount of toilet paper clogged the toilet. But I didn’t know! So I flushed it and instead of being sucked into the great unknown, it started rising up, its brown face reaching for the toilet brim, reaching for my dear face! Luckily, it didn’t spill over. I jumped away from the cubicle, utterly horrified at the incident. I made a mental note that next time, I’m just going to leave these kind of things alone and look for another cubicle. Scarred.

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